The Gods read Percy Jackson and the lightning thief
by AmbySamby
Summary: The Gods have not kept their promise for Percy. So the demi-gods come up with a plan to make them see that it isn't so easy being one of them. Let's see what the Gods think about a bit of reading, eh?
1. Introduction

"Mira hasn't been claimed yet and she's been here for a week!" Another camper complained pointing viciously to her friend. Chiron frowned; this had been the fifth time today that a distressed young person had come up to him about the Gods. It was obvious that the Gods had not been living up to their so called promise. Chiron was not very happy with his siblings. He hated seeing the disappointed and discouraged demi-gods mope around awaiting the glory of being claimed.

"I'm sure you will be claimed soon my dear…." He said not sounding so certain himself. The surprisingly small girl stared at the ground quietly.

Percy had heard all of this conversation, and he has a plan. Since his first quest, he and this boy called Rick had been meeting up. Percy had told his stories and Rick had written them down. Rick has now got five completed books to show. If Percy made the Gods read them then they could see how hard and troublesome it was to be a demi-god.

Once Chiron had heard his plan he thought it was a great idea, but insisted that the main people who were in the books had to be there to. So that was where they were heading now. Percy had been to Olympus quite a few times so this was no special trip for him. It was the same situation for his fellow demi-gods.

They entered the throne room one by one and stood in the middle of the room. Poseidon immediately became interested once he saw his favourite son.

"What is the meaning of this?" Zeus asked the small crowd of people. Percy stepped forward making his father smile.

"We wish to give you a set of books. They are from my point of view. Basically they are describing all of my quests. Me and Chiron thought it would help you keep to your word about paying attention to us demi-gods" Percy explained. Zeus raised an eyebrow.

"Are you accusing us of not keeping our word?" He asked dangerously.

"Not accusing, knowing." Percy said casually. Everybody held their breath as Zeus glared at the boy.

"Very well, bring the books forward and all take a seat." He ordered.

"Shouldn't we learn who is here with us father?" Athena asked cautiously. He nodded and motioned them to begin

"Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon" This made Poseidon grin proudly, but made Zeus scowl. Annabeth stepped forward.

"Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena" Athena smiled softly.

Grover's turn.

"Grover Underwood. Just a Satyr" A few faint laughs were heard.

"Clarisse, daughter of Ares." A toothy grin crept up Ares face.

The twins stepped up.

"Travis"

"Connor"

"Stoll" They finished together. Hermes smiled at them, He was still getting over Luke but he can still pay attention to what he has left.

"Is this it?" Zeus asked frowning slightly. Everyone knew who he was hoping for.

"We only have the people who are mainly in this story, well the Stolls just wanted to tag along. More people will turn up as the books go on." Percy cut in quickly so he could reassure the king God.

"Okay then, who wishes to read first?" Athena asked.

"I think Percy should! I mean, it is from his point of view right?" Annabeth said smiling softly at her boyfriend. Everybody agreed so the first book was handed to Percy.

"Let's start shall we?"


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"**I accidentally vaporize my pre- algebra teacher"**

A couple of laughs echoed around the room.

"Only you Percy….." Annabeth laughed lightly. Percy pouted making Annabeth's heart melt. She gave him a quick peck and whispered for him to begin.

"**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.**

If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: "

"Oh Gods, Percy is giving out advice!" Travis gasped dramatically earning himself a mighty splash of water to the face.

"**My advice is: close this book right now. Believe what-ever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life. "**

"It's not that bad is it?" Aphrodite asked whilst combing her hair. The Demi- gods nodded their heads furiously.

"I always thought it was fine because you guys are still alive…." She said looking confused. Apollo face palmed whilst Athena just shook her head.

"**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. "**

Hades grinned wickedly at all the ways somebody could die. Zeus shuffled away slightly from his creepy brother.

"**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.

Don't say I didn't warn you. "

"I didn't warn you!" Hermes, Apollo, the twins and Ares yelled.

"Boys…." Artemis muttered to herself.

"**My name is Percy Jackson**."

"No shit" Clarisse snorted. Percy glared at her before continuing on.

"**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid?**

"Yes!" Literally EVERYBODY screeched. Percy huffed clearly annoyed.

"**Yeah. You could say that."**

"Even Percy agrees!" Grover laughed.

**"I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff. **

"Ugh! It sounds like torture!" Poseidon complained loudly. Athena scoffed at him in disapproval.

"**I know-it sounds like torture."**

"Like father, like son." Hera smiled warmly whilst everyone else chuckled. Poseidon beamed at Percy.

**Most Yancy field trips were.**

But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.

Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armour and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep. 

"You sleep in class?" Athena asked sharply. Percy shifted uncomfortably under her stare.

"Urrr… a little…." Apollo cheered.

"That's my boy!" Apollo said whilst rubbing fake tears away. Artemis rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn't hide the tiny smile on her face.

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

Boy was I wrong. 

"Great!" Poseidon said sarcastically.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**

"Awesome! Hey Hermes, we really need to start pranking again." Apollo grinned. Hermes nodded enthusiastically whilst smiling himself.

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind- the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**

"I like that one" Clarisse said shocking them all.

"Why thank you!" Percy said pretending to flick his hair. She glared slightly.

"Don't get used to the compliments Prissy." Percy only laughed which seemed to aggravate the daughter of the war God even more. Before she could say anything else, Percy hastily carried on reading.

**And the time before that... Well, you get the idea.**

This trip, I was determined to be good. 

"Good luck with that" Hades mumbled.

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

"Ew! That's disgusting, how can she eat that?!" Aphrodite screeched loudly. Percy shuddered whilst remembering Nancy.

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs.**

"Wow, thanks Percy! What a lovely description of me." Grover said shaking his head. Percy flushed slightly and shrugged.

"Sorry G-man…. My bad"

**He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria. **

"Way to blow your cover! Gods!" Dionysus said in frustration glaring at a terrified Grover.

"Oh go easy on him! No Satyr can resist the temptation of an enchilada! Hermes laughed. Grover sent him a thankful look before gesturing for Percy to read on.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death-**

"WHAT!?" Poseidon roared. Athena started at him.

"Wait for him to finish the sentence and maybe it will explain!"

**by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip. **

"What did I tell you?" Athena said smugly. Poseidon sent a big mackerel flying her way. She let out a squeal and shielded herself with her arms. The whole room was laughing as it continued to pester her with its fin.

**"I'm going to kill her, " I mumbled.**

"Finally, some action!" Ares yelled in praise.

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter. "**

He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.

"That's it. " I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat. 

"Awww! Come on, it was just getting good!" He complained.

**"You're already on probation, " he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens. "**

Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into. 

"You really know how to worry me Percy." Poseidon said frowning. Percy looked slightly sheepish.

"Yeah, sorry about that. You better get used to it though".

Poseidon paled and cursed in ancient Greek.

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.  
He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. **

"How interesting! I need to visit there again sometime…" Athena stated, smiling fondly. Everyone else just rolled their eyes.

"Is Mr Brunner Chiron?" Zeus asked making them all jump in surprise. Percy tapped his nose.

"You'll see….." Zeus groaned.

"I have a feeling that by the end of these books, I'm going to be very tired of hearing that."

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years. **

"Longer than that, if I remember correctly the-"

"Okay, we get it sister!" Hermes cut Athena off quickly.

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye. **

"I can already tell that she doesn't sound good…." Demeter said worry covering her features.

** Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown. **

"Why did she have a nervous breakdown?" Hera asked curiously. Percy looked anywhere but her.

"Percy… come on, tell us!" Annabeth complained. With a sigh, Percy began to tell the story.

"Well, his name was Mr Brady, and he was kinda old to be honest with you. He had this weird fear of buttons, so me and this other guy called Jack Harris decided to cover his whole classroom with buttons. We told the class not to say anything while we waited for him. He came in and, urrr…. He fainted." There was silence once he finished his story. Then raucous laughter echoed all around the throne room.

"That is too good, Percy!" Apollo spluttered, wiping his eyes. Percy decided it was time to carry on reading.

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey, " real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right. "

All of the people apart from Percy stared at Grover in disbelief.

"I'm not even gonna start." Travis said whilst Connor nodded along.

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"

It came out louder than I meant it to. 

"Well, it is you we're talking about here…" Annabeth admitted. Percy glared at her and turned away slightly. She giggled slightly and turned him so that he was facing her. She gave him a sweet kiss on the lips to help him feel better.

"Hey, none of that in here!" Athena snapped. The couple blushed furiously.

"You should carry on reading." Grover said nervously.

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

"Mr. Jackson, " he said, "did you have a comment?"

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir. "**

Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"

I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"

All of the elder Gods and Goddesses groaned loudly.

"It just had to be that specific one!" Hades whined. Hera shivered at the memory along with Poseidon.

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ... "**

"Well..."I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"

"GOD!?" Zeus yelled. Hera put her hand on his arm.

"Calm down honey, Chiron will correct him."

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

"Titan, " I corrected myself. "And ... He didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"

"I still can't get over how he could mistake a person for a rock…?" Connor said, clearly confused.

"He wasn't very bright." Zeus answered shivering slightly.

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me. **

"She should try going through it! Then see what she says!" Aphrodite snarled.

**"-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans, " I continued, "and the gods won. "**

Some snickers from the group. 

"Why are the snickering? He got it right!" Athena said frowning. A sinking feeling erupted in Percy's stomach. He didn't want them to know that he had been bullied in his past. It would make him look weak compared to the others.

"Well there just like that, okay?" Percy said quickly and carried on reading. This only made everybody suspicious or worried

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids. '"**

"And why, Mr. Jackson, " Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"

"Haha! She got busted!" Apollo rejoiced.

**"Busted, " Grover muttered.**

"Shut up, " Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. 

Artemis turned to Apollo.

"You think like a goat by the way." Apollo huffed and flipped her off. The Demi-Gods sat there, shocked. They always thought the Gods were sophisticated, and then they see the sun god give his twin the bird.

"Apollo! Don't do that in front of them!" Demeter scolded.

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"More like horse ears." Hermes cackled to himself.

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir. "**

"I see. " Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"

"That is typical Chiron though." Travis said.

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson. " I knew that was coming.**

**Mr Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.  
"You must learn the answer to my question, " Mr Brunner told me. **

**"About the Titans?"**

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it. "  
"Oh. "**

**"What you learn from me, " he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson. " I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

"It's for the best." Poseidon whispered secretly to himself.

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armour and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly. **

"Don't worry, me and Hermes can't either!" Apollo said attempting to comfort Percy. Athena glared at him.

"How can I be related to such an idiot like you?" She spat at him. A flash of hurt went across Apollo's face. That was a sore subject for him; he'd always wanted to be smarter. But he just brushes it off.

"Athena, now that was a bit harsh." Poseidon said sternly. He'd noticed Apollo's hurt face easily. Athena looked down, embarrassed by her actions. Percy swallowed thickly. He hoped Apollo was alright…

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral. He told me to go outside and eat my lunch. The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. 

The whole room stared at Poseidon and Zeus who shrank down in their seats.

"Well somebody is angry…." Hephaestus commented for the first time whilst raising an eyebrow at them.

"It looks like I'm the only mature one out of us three!" Hades cackled in satisfaction. Persephone shook her head at his antics.

**We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, and wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in. Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing. Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks that couldn't make it elsewhere. **

"Aw, don't think like that seaweed brain!" Annabeth said frowning sadly at her boyfriend. He only shrugged back before carrying on reading the book to the room.

**"Detention?" Grover asked.******

** "Nah, " I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius. "******

** Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

Everybody in the room snorted whilst Grover blushed pure red.

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it. I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me. **

"Mamma's boy!" Ares taunted harshly. He earned himself a mighty splash of water, not quite the reward he'd wanted Aphrodite frowned slightly.

"That was mean Ares….." He stared at her in astonishment, she'd never been bothered by his antics before….

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table.**

Hephaestus looked slightly miffed as he began to create a mental diagram in his head. Apollo chuckled from the opposite side of the throne room.

"Don't strain yourself big guy!" *Cue snickering from Demi-Gods.

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

Percy growled slightly, remembering the memory clear as day. Hermes raised an eyebrow at him.

"Did you just…growl?" Percy flushed slightly but nodded anyway. Clarisse frowned.

"Hey, that's my thing!"

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

"Liquid Cheetos?!" Aphrodite screeched, horrified. The rest of the Olympians frowned at the book, they didn't like the sound of this Nancy girl at all.

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

Poseidon grinned triumphantly.

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"**

**"—the water—"**

**"—like it grabbed her—"**

"That is wicked!" Travis and Conner Stoll said smiling mischievously.

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a tri-umphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey—"**

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

Hermes, the twins and Apollo all yelled in protest.

"Never guess your punishment Percy! It will lead to your impending doom!" Apollo said whilst tutting him. Percy only stared at Annabeth got help-he never got any.

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."**

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

"Awww! He tried to take the blame! How sweet!" Demeter cooed making Grover flush deeply.

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

**"But—"**

**"You— will—stay—here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me." Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there.**

"You do not want to be on the receiving end of that stare…." Conner shuddered. The rest demi-gods agreed.

**She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things**.

"**I don't think that's it my boy," Athena said sternly making Percy shrink down into his bean bag.**

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

"Great, a demi-god is in deep trouble and Chiron is reading The Hobbit!" Zeus huffed slightly making his two brothers snort.

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

"I didn't hear about this Percy!" Poseidon almost squeaked. He was currently gripping onto his throne anxiously. Annabeth nodded nervously.

"I didn't know either!"

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs.**

**Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...**

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

**I said, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am."**

"Oh no, I can just tell that Poseidon will have a heart attack by the end of these books!" Artemis said, face palming dramatically.

Thunder shook the building.

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

The tension lessened slightly as everybody laughed at Percy's antics. Although Annabeth and Athena weren't very happy about the book palaver.

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't..."**

**"Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons**

"A FURY, HADES?! MY OWN SON, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!" Poseidon roared. He got up to pounce but Athena grabbed hold of him quickly. Without anyone noticing, he blushed slightly as her arms wrapped around his waist to yank him back. She shoved him back onto his throne, giving him a stern look.

"He may have his reasons kelp head! We don't know yet" Poseidon fiddled with his hands shyly, this wasn't like him either.

**Then things got even stranger.**

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

**"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword—Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

At that moment, Percy slipped out his own version of Riptide and uncapped it. The Olympians recognised it from his many battles.

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!**

"Pretty good for a first go at a monster…." Ares admitted reluctantly. Percy smirked in satisfaction.

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two**

**glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. Mr Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there with me.**

"Oh, the mist!" Athena said smartly making everyone but Annabeth roll their eyes.

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or some-thing.**

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

**I said, "Who?"**

**"Our teacher. Duh!"**

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

"I am so confused…" Apollo said looking at his sister for help. She sighed loudly.

"Of course you're confused! I would be worried if you weren't" Apollo huffed and slouched in his throne whilst crossing his arms.

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

"You my dear satyr, need one of my lying lessons!" Hermes scolded Grover.

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, read-ing his book, as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"Now, Chiron knows how to lie!" Hephaestus chuckled.

"That's the end of the chapter, who wants to read next?"

"I will, we might as well go in seating order." Annabeth volunteered.

She began to read.


End file.
